Ignore Is...

...Just One Push of a Button.

How far will you ignore?

Scenario:

Ronald, a friend yours asked you a big favor that leads to the word help. He's in dire need. He asked you via the very reliable "private messaging" or PM's on one of the largest networking site human race has ever stumbled upon. You, on the other end was contemplating weather to: read it and take no action or read and seek on how to help, or worst, ignore it.

After a day of Ronald's plead for help message, he sees you updating your status almost after 11 hours, updating profiles, answering quizzes (that only makes you feel stupid but consider answering them rather than die in boredom) and up loading pictures every after twenty five minutes.

What kind of a shrewd person are you, doing such ignoring?

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The art of ignoring is so complicated and vast that a number of us right now are very much into it. You ignore a call from your mom whom you consider a nagger and yet you seek her aid every time you do less-human things. You ignore a person who only tries to talk to you decently and humanly. You ignore a person's asking for forgiveness and yet God sees you every Thursday in St. Jude Church asking for hope. You ignore a smile from a stranger that won himself a brand new cellphone after so many years that he or she only wants to share to you his or her celebration by means of beaming. You ignore a pamphlet given to you and you impolitely looks at them in disgust. You ignore a parent's help because as a young adventurous person, you think highly and more self-proficient than them. You ignore and exchange the highest footbridge you ever saw in Edsa and Commonwealth for your life's safety. You ignore a condom because you feel manly without them thus an unwanted child was born and a punch of reality hits you that life is much harder now. You ignore time, because you learn that time was never your comrade.

You ignore much of me because you know to yourself that I can not for you.

And a whole much more of ignoring. Different reasons for different ignoring scenarios.

You can not ignore life forever.

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See the picture?

Easy for us to do those "updating" things but to answer something like "Pare, di kita matutulungan e. Pasensiya na." or "I can help but not in a grand scale. But at least I can." is already a burden for their lazy fingers to type. It is always more appreciated when we say no or yes rather than ignore. Was it because you have asked a sign from God and you felt ignored? And to make the world a better place, you ignore people as well? These called "people" that we refer to have a heart, for your information.

As we progress as a person, we also profoundly progress in ignoring much of ourselves.

Heavy Words From A Heavy Film

Teddy Diaz: Think about this jett.. 'pag may nawala sa isang tao, anong ginagawa?

Jett Pangan: Hinahanap.

Teddy: What if 'di mahanap?

Jett: Pinapalitan.

Teddy: What if 'di mapalitan?

Jett: Kinakalimutan...

Teddy: Last question, ano ang gagawin if yung nawala, ay hindi mahanap, hindi mapalitan at hindi makalimutan?

Jett: Tatanggapin...

excerpt from 2006 Cinemalaya best picture: "Tulad Ng Dati"

Today, I Lost a Friend.

I'll tell you why life is unfair: No matter how good you are as a person, but when you pulled up just one mistake, just one mistake, just one freaking mistake, you will crumble and your knees will surely kiss the pavement faster than a tear manages to escape in your tear ducts.

I lost a friend today. A very very important friend of mine.

Today, I learned a whole new meaning of losing such a friend.

And it took a deep breath for me to accept that it was my fault and forgiveness is no where to be found.

It hurts. Big time. Like a surgery without anesthesia. Because when you nurtured a friendship, there's no way you'll be emotionally unattached to it and you'll eat the meaning of the word 'importance' from day one.

I never meant this to happen, but still, if only I... sigh.

Dear Mrs. Clockwork,

What could I possibly offer you to make you bring back the time? I am not good at fixing things but I could change. If you could just allow me three days back, I'll be your slave for good. But what good should I be for you? You're always on the run, never waits and you make things complicated due to the deadly 'dead lines'.

Just three days.

Please,

Ccigaux

(p.s. she's important to me like gears and springs are for you)

Meddling the Middle

If you're in the middle, you're definitely not the center.

Being in the middle is described as either you're a peace maker or a peace bender.

Being in the middle doesn't make you entirely an equalizer.

Because of the fact that you were in the middle of something important to say, you mostly forget it or probably you decline to say it due to the effect of what's coming after you've said something.

Standing on the edge between crazy and sense are more self-satisfying rather than being alone at your car and in the middle of nowhere.

Living in the middle makes you learn to play safe.

You're mostly in between worst case scenarios. (e.g. both parents scolding at you, problems at home and problems at work, sitting in the middle with lovers at both sides, love triangles, etc.)

Most probably, you're living in extremes if you consider yourself a middle man.

You prefer two things rather than choosing just one or worst not choosing at all.

There's a pleading kid at the middle ready to accept both love of a fighting live-in partners.

There's an unborn child between two kids who forgot to wear a condom.

Peace signs for the believers, middle fingers for the losers.

Anatomically, you can never see a part of your body positioned centrally. Either you found it asymmetrically or in the middle.

Being in the middle tends you to be ordinary as far as the extreme people would say. Middle-rs have the power to be on the other extreme sides or not to be with both.

Right now, you're in the middle of something you want to put in the comment box. :)

Let It Be

If I let things be, that doesn't necessarily mean I surrendered. Nor I agree to the circumstances. I have an option to fight or to run. But I also have an option not to pursue. I let things be and permit the current to drag me while I float away. When an important figure in your life built an uncompromising wall, I'll make myself a ladder from what remains to be the remains of burnt twigs and smoldering chains. And I don't care if it would take time. It will take time.

Minsan, sa buhay, kahit wala kang kasalanan, kahit buong buhay mo naging mabait ka sa madla, most people would still make you feel you wished you never exist.

That's how the world works sometimes.

Sigh.


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A Prayer For A Friend's Beloved: I am asking you all to please pray for Acey's, (a long time blogger friend of mine) boyfriend, who recently found out that he has a cancer. Ms.Acey, hold on. Alright?

1 message received

In lieu of Mother's Month on May, I decided to spoil that event and just share what I have received last 18 April, on a beautiful yet exciting saturday. I was in the mall competing on a tournament.

I was playing a card game (refer photo above) when I received a text message from our mother, which is now in California with my young brother. They went there December last year.

What I read made me smile. That even if I lost on that tournament(I placed 92 out of 135 players ), my day was filled with enthusiasm and cheers, that no sad thoughts could punch my mind and pierce my heart. My ears are filled with good music.

Here's the exact message from my mom, which I find it surprising in a good way:

mama_dear: Hello ank i mssd u so much, pls work on your birth certificate together with ur kuya gavin. I mssd d two of u. Take care and GOD BLESS.

Simple? Yeah. Why am i surprised, if you may asked? Because I know our mom very well. She's not the typical mother who is wordy and emotional when it comes to her sons. A strong woman with a bunch of extraordinary experiences being a pre-school teacher. Sometimes, mababaw ang luha. But she's rarely sweet especially on text messages.

A heart melted that day. It was mine.
Someone was smiling all throughout that day. And it was I. :)

Life is...

...only as good as the memories we make." -The Ataris

This single line from the song "So Long, Astoria", depicts how powerfully depressing memories could be. Especially if you're trying to muster one fine happy thought that may conjure a Patronus. We all have just a few happy thoughts e. Why's that? But on the lighter note, it also shows what we were before. It makes you re-asses things clearly, and you'll eventually say.. "Ahh.. ganito pala ako noon?" It will also make you ask, "does life way much better now than 10 years ago?"

As I looked at these memories printed on a glossy paper, I can't help but to compare the one smiling before me and the one who's holding the photo and thinks that he could have pass for "That's My Boy" contest...

...only if I was brave enough to ask my Ama to bring me to the studio. but the problem would be...

Joey De Leon: Ano talent mo, Hijo?
The 6 years old me: Wala po.
Joey De Leon: E ba't nandito ka?
The 6 years old me: Kasi po wala ako doon. :-D

Sigh, the shulda, wulda, culda's of life. :-)

I believe that every person has this one shot to become someone more than just his/her usual self.

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I wondered, what if there's no such thing as memories?