the parable of the cockroach!

(siguraduhing nakakain na ng hapunan at ng tanghalian bago basahin)

ever been finding hope to someone? or unto something? heres a great story for all of us who needs to find a little light to the most unlikely beings on earth...

i was so bored that sunday night and decides to watch legally blonde featured on sunday special of channel 2. when the program starts, a cockroach was climbing up 9 feet fom the ceiling down to the floor. then unexpectedly, it flew straight from my head but luckily i managed to dodge and picks up my slippers ready to spank down the little guy. the cockroach crawled again to the floor straight again to the door below. it started to climb up again, but this time i was ready to give it a shot. but since the roach attempts to climb through the edge of the back door, i only manage to hit it half. it fell down from where he/she climbs. i was aware for the fact that it was still alive. i was so annoyed but went on to sit and relax to watch tv. after a few minutes, the roach climbs again as though it never had been half hitted by my slippers. i reached out again my terror slipper and spank again the discusting roach. this time i was aware already that it will never climb up again. i managed to look the cockroach down where it fell and from the looks of it, all of its insides splurts out... from then on i went back to my seat and tried to finish the featured movie from the tv.... i was wrong from my second thought that i killed the enemy of our house. i was surprised. maybe "nearly killed" will be the appropriate words to discribe it. much to my amazement, the roach climbed up slowly. even for the thought that danger awaits the roach, the crippled insect never gives up despite the fact that it was almost hopeless to climb up.
...believe me, the little guy climbed until he reached our ceiling and tried to flew. but since he/she was devasted physically, he fell down slowly to the floor. i still managed to expectate his/her final act of survival... he crawled away slowly below to the cabinet. i set it free... because i dont have the right to take away an insects life except when self defense was at stake.
that night, i contemplated on things like hope and giving-up... these where....
(in no particular order)

*gcx's unexpected off the air phenomenon - i mean.. it was like a part of you was missing everyday.

*academics - i am aware of this. sometimes i lose hope... i just cant grab the spark but im workin on it.

* love life - i mean... being alone and lonely makes you feel your a loser sometimes... may mga times naman na hindi ko ito naiisip pero pilit na ipapakita sayo sa pang araw araw na buhay na bigyan pansin daw! like when i walk home or when im at school.... almost everybody's holding hands with each other and displaying their affection publicly.

* blank minded - i dont know, i cought myself sometimes na "tulala" kahit wala naman akong iniisip.


but because of what i learned to the roach... these are now marks of my hoplessness i life.
every day will be a new one to live. a new back door to climb and a new slippers to be spanked. no matter how devastated we are or how much destruction we fill up every time a problem strikes, surrender will never be an option.


"...pag natulog ka mamaya at bukas buhay ka pa, ibig sabihin may solusyon pa ang problema mo. pag 'di ka na nagising, yun na yun! wala ng solusyon yan..." -calculus

"...ganyan talaga pag umuulan, sabay sabay..." -calculus