a song, an apology and on letting go...

im still down... but i began to smile for some time these past few days.. haaayy..
this is a song from "the verve pipe" entitled "never let you down".
this one goes out to a friend of mine who celebrates her 20th birthday today! miss boyd! =)


apologies for my links.. mali mali spelling ng ibang links ko and i promise to fix it as soon our phone is back on line! hehehe.. naputulan kasi kami e.. heehee!

on letting go and holding on...

right. its a cliche. it happens every after surviving a heartache or an incident in your life. i'm not really used to posting my sentiments here in my blog for some private reasons. i am careful
when it comes to the affairs of the heart. specially with my own.
(*sabay pasok ng crazy over you by 112 at reasons by earth,wind & fire).

a month ago, i began my lessons in the art of letting go. it was a psy war between the heart and the mind. the mind tells me... "you have to let go, its the most rational way to do." and the other... "dont. hold on still. believe in the power of love." it was difficult. i woke up everyday, still thinking about her. your always not on focus and sometimes natutulala ka na lang. the process itself is too difficult. its like taking away an important part of your heart. its almost imposible to get rid of the feelings i had. doon kasi ako lumiligaya. dun kasi ako masaya. so why let go
if it makes me happy? because for some parts, that happiness blinded me from seeing into reality. i felt happy and sad at the same time. its useless for me to continue because its pointless.
in the end, my mind wins because.. my heart had nothing left for me to give. i've given even the love i left for myself.(yes i know its wrong.) kung baga sa isang bag ng chippy "simut na simut na".

lessons learned...

sincerest love just aint enough for you to give. some people really cant be contented on what other people could offer. perhaps i am not really for that person. pero sabi nga ng ibang tao... "for as long as you've loved her with no bad intentions and pretentions, your still a winner." hold on for that reason and the healing process will be smooth.

meanwhile, im still in the same process of healing but with the less brooding thoughts on her. im HOLDING ON to the pieces left for me to fix. pangit man ang ending, pero its worth telling! the whole experience taught me a great lesson and discover a whole new
ultimate meaning and form of loving someone... its not sex. its SACRIFICE. im thanking that person for letting me experience it.

*ccigaux started to sing "i could not ask for more" by edwin
mccaine and afterwards "star" by simply red.
"ah hope ah hope ah hope you comprehend... ah hope ah hope..."

ON THE LIGHTER NOTE...

FREEBIES ARE GOODIES!ang ganda ng kanta ni jasmine trias sa free cd ng mcdo meals! just
add 35 bucks to a mcdonalds savers meal #'s 10,9,7,5 & 4. ASTEEG
talaga! hahaha! paparapapa... love ko 'to...