L is for lonely

...ako'y malungkot nanaman..

amoy chico na ako...

sometimes in someone elses life, comes the part of being lonely and feeling homeless.

...the feeling in which your happy outside but sad inside. in these cases, you look down on some songs that will penetrate your deeper sense of loneliness, a song in which you can run it into your head all throughout the day and be one with that song..
and you memorized a line or two from that song...

...when times like these are unbearable, i'll contemplate myself and be one with nature.

its a place a few walks from our ancestral house in Zambales. in that place stands a "papag" and a small "kubo". it was a hut built for farmers who worked all day. its got fresh air, great view, quiet and its relaxing. saksi ang lugar na yun sa aking mga kahinaan at mga sikreto ko sa buhay. inilalabas ko ang kalungkutan sa tulong ng hanging dumadampi sa aking mukha. the place itself is conducive for private moments with nature. because there are times i find myself crying and sobbing and be back for a couple of times there and find without a trace of that sadness and of that fears. every memory of me being in that place have been erased. a new and uplifting spirit awaits just for me everytime i go there. the place will embrace you. its like God embraces you with all His heart. as i looked straight into the horizon, questions are running thru my head. but until i leave there, not a single question have been answered. summer after summer, i kept on coming back and ask questions... still the place gaved me no clues nor near-fulfilling answers... but i still keep on coming back. maybe it was meant for me not to ask, maybe the place doesnt knew the answer, but why does this place kept me from coming back? i'm always welcome to come back.. and i'm always welcome to leave. nothing was changed everytime i went there. this i knew all along! how could i ever forget, the answer was right infront of me. i was meant to change... for the good. was it really the answer? was it really the question i meant to ask? i dont know.. they dont know.. we dont know. but i do know, i found comfort in its strange ways.
i found solitude... i'm at peace. i'm at home.



pagkatapos nun, uuwi akong masaya at punong puno ng pag asa. =) taon taon ganun... taon taon dumadating ang sumpong ng kalungkutan. but na lang at nadiskubrehan ko ang maliit na kubo sa likod ng napaka gandang bukid.
thank you Lord for giving us such a gift thru nature!



Random Recommended Books for the week! thank God for Bob Ong!!! bless you!!!


for the newly grad and aspiring teachers/mentors/sensei "ABNKKBSNPLAKO" is one of the MUST read!!!! i'll review the other two books next time!

POST IT's:
ms. russ!! i'll post the pictures next blog post ko..
ms.aCey!! yo!! whatever happend to your phone?
ms.kessa!! miss you tooO!!! how's work?

A thousand Thank you's for all the commentors in my last posts! asahan nyong bibisita ako sa blogs niyo ok? =)