crazy last week (warning: super long post)

Last Song Syndrome: "Paglisan" by Color it Red
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Sunday - A day with mixed emotions
I went to watch footloose the musical with my friends! It was super great! After two months We've come to see our friend perform again!Then I thought the happiness will last untill I get home - Not. How come a great day went awful? The transition from elation to depression went as fast as you can say "Havaianas". In short... I was soo pissed Off. In the end, I ended the night with a closed fist ready to knock a thing or two. Time revealed to me that there are some friends worth keeping for. It made me sad.

Monday - Ang Paraiso ni Sisa
My first day duty to National Center for Mental Health in Mandaluyong City. Anxiety and fear rushed through my veins when the time I stepped on my foot on the gates. I knew that when the time I will enter here, it will be a new world. It was a new world, indeed. My group and I was assigned in Pavilion 35 were mentally ill patients with court cases resides. Before the initial interaction with my patient, my group and I had a small talk first or rather "an open discussion" which were ourselves was the topic. Our Instruction emphasizes the need to know ourselves first before going to intreact with our patients. Siyempre, anjan yung may iyakan at tawanan kapag buhay na namin sa bahay ang pinaguusapan.

Tuesday - There is nothing to be afraid of
"Hello po! ako si chigo! Ang student nurse mo sa buong linggo!" This was my first few brave words I spoke to my patient. The interaction went well and smooth. The cooperation I got from my patient was the one I expected. I was told once by my instructor that I need to explain my purpose, objectives and the duration of my care. It is important to state my period of stay, for patients have the difficulty to accept reality of separation and this would not help them recover mentally.

Wednesday - bad day
There is no week that I havent have a bad day. I don't know... I guess that's just the way it is. I was late, I forgot to bring something important and I was doubted about my reason of my lateness. It was my ride at the MRT-Cubao station. Grabe, talong-talo ka na sa Pila pa lang ng papuntang south bound. haaayy.. when I arrived at school, I apologize immediately and luckily, our patients interacted well to our therapies my group and I have facilitated.

Thursday - A 3 hour tour that will change the way you percieve in life
Our Instructor reminded us that we will be having a tour of the different pavilions of the whole 46.5 hectres of NCMH. Every pavilion will be visited and observed. A first hand look on the situation of the whole Center. The first few pavilions housing epeleptic male patients are devastatingly sad to looked on. The kind of life they're living will leave you very sick because of the smell. Nakatatak na talaga sa trabaho ng nurse and mag tiis. Just by looking every patient will make you quit nursing. Then we visited pavilion 5. A very dilapidating building with a sensus of three hundred chronically ill women ages 20 and above. If you happen to watch Schindler's List scene were the group of women was stripped naked to a dark room and started for the fire hose to blow water. That's what pavilion 6 looks like. Patients were walking all day and some are crying. I filled up my heart with courage for me to look at their situation. I was about to cry but I know its useless. they need help. Now. Yung ibang pasiyente nagkakasakit na.

And then I saw hope. One patient from the Pavilion Zonta (pavilion for the adolescent girls) was happily singing and joking around when she saw us coming. She was outside their cell but she was harmless. Smiles in her face and our group remembered that in just one look, she looked like Jodi Sta. Maria. Our smiles died down when a 10 year old cute girl butt-in and told us a brief disturbing story of her life. And this was the exact words from her mouth that made us sad and pity her:

Patient: "Ni-rape po ako ng sampung lalake. si... si... si... si... tapos kasama po si kuya.... atchaka si... si... si... si... at si... sila pong lahat ni pasok nila yung ano nila sa ano ko po..."

My God. She was able to memorize all the names of those damn hell of a kids without her eyes blinking. Oh man, This child could be your/my/our own child someday. For the moment, I was hating all those persons she mentioned. I felt the emotional pain. The reality of the world she was living. And the thought of her mentally unstable illness. She wasnt crying while she was talking to us. However, her own eyes will make you see the terror she experienced. And then we asked her what does she like to become when she grew up:

Patient: "maging teacher po."

nakakapanghinayang.

Friday - Paglisan
We ended our stay with a bang and full of happiness! It was our Grand Socialization day to all our patients in the pavilion that we were assigned on. We have other participating schools joined us. Like San Beda College and Unciano College Inc. We helped make that parting day a party day! Thursday night, everyone was preparing their own parlor games and intermission numbers for this day. And It paid off. We tatooed a smile on every patient's heart! =) the main theme was Hope.

What I've learned - A sad fact that we have to bare

The well being of a mentally ill person was a difficult task to rehabilitate and to treat. Every human being is susceptible to this illness and every treated person from this disease always had a great chance that will keep coming back. No wonder why our government havent aloted a big budget for this institution. reality really bites. But like our clinical instructor said:

"It's important for us nurses to have a POSITIVE OUTLOOK towards life! This will help most especially psychiatric patients for rehabilitation and treatment."