Past Time

Whenever I feel slow and empty, I succumb to my imaginations. It become my kind of past time. And one of the latest was I was an amatuer song-writer who won 1st place in Metro Pop. I got the chance to choose a band to play my winning piece, ofcourse.

When finally the name of my song called on stage, the people roared and stood up. As for me, I was still sitting and still can't find the strength to stand up and head to the stage. Head spinning, people around me kept on shouting my name amidst all the noise, mouth had been dried, and since I'm addicted to coffee, I could not bear the after-effects of it. Hands shaking vigorously. Hell, I do not need to shake every people's hands; they just need to grab my arms and consider it shaken.

Finally, I was up on stage with the band. A few congratulatory remarks here and there.

And at last, the privilaged speech. Godbless these privelaged speeches. It takes you to do something remarkable or acknowledgable just to have that certain chance; that undivided attention. Were as in Mendiola, all you need to do was to have a police permit and a good megaphone. But the difference was, well, in award nights, people will listen to what you'll say. Camera's are hungry for a stuttered word or movement, a critique will have the chance to lambast each uttered phrase or incorrect grammar, tabloids will wait for a mistake; a mistake so big it will make the whole world laugh.

I walked across and felt the microphone bumped in my mouth that created a little feedback.

Then my mind went blank for atleast 20 seconds. You'll hear around the crowd for shouts and whispers. Those 20 seconds alone made me realized two things: I've learned that a thousand simultaneous whispers was more loud than a shout; and I realized that the concept of the spotlight was for the person on that spotted light will never going to face a big crowd. All you would see were shadows or darkness in front of you. You were metaphorically alone on the stage. A tactic to scare the hell out of you who only tried to step on that unknown world of attention and celebrity status.

I used that figure of anonymity to compose myself and come up with a short speech I finally sought from the edges of my memory cells of my brain:

"Buhay sa Diyos, tenga, puso at isipan sa musika, paa sa lupa. Maraming salamat. Magandang Gabi!"

People stood up once again and roared while I raised the trophy or rather the soap and hustled myself up from the comforts of our toilet bowl and flushed.

Next time, I'll try noble peace prize awardee or a long time husband of Blair Waldorff.

Note: Italized part was from the acknowledgement section of the undisputed album light,peace,love by Bamboo.