My Name Is Solo, Han Solo

(don't mind the time and date of this blog in blogger. i finished this at around 1:08AM, Sunday Sept.14, 2008)

Originally, I will meet someone and spend the rest of the sunny gloomy day in a near by mall. However, she had plans. :-( so I went alone and braved the Saturday in full force. Why? Because I had no plans to stay at home all day thus the adventure began.

First was the haircut to one of my long time stylist. I thought a hair cut might kill the frustration and loneliness. But it didn't. Yes it made me feel alright just an hour or two. I miss the barbershop. When I was a kid, our father would brought us to the end of our street barber shop that has some bold star calendars around the walls. It's one of the, I think, "macho" image of these brute barbers. Or perhaps those calendars are one of the stationary "offered" services aside the massages and shaving. That barber shop introduced me to Christina Gonzales and Gretchen Baretto. But mind you, mas chismoso ang mga barbero kaysa sa mga stylist. The talks would go from Politics, sports, politics, sabong, jueteng and politics and showbiz. Minsan, pinag uusapan ng mga barbero ang mga tungkol sa kapitbahay at usapan sa AM radio. While Stylists today, like the ones in Bench Fix Salons, had been to several seminars to become top notched hair dressers...

Stylist: Chigo, tapos na.
Me: ay! salamat Sir!

Went to the receptionist/cashier to pay the 3 digit amount. My goodness. Perhaps my old barber will finally have a reunion with my hair after so long.
Scary.

Since I love to read novels I checked out national bookstore's sale books section. I found some of my interesting titles and authors however I didn't crave in and bought them. My heart just won't crave for something for that time due to the point that I was alone. Books failed to give a smile on my face. Pity. The books were shouting "Buy Me! Buy Me!" at me. Sigh, not this time, fellas. Maybe next time.

Next stop, Greenhills. While on a jeepney, it's crazier to think that the whole world conspired to make fun at you. You see people with someone, clasping hands, embracing, kissing and some couples would smile at you. Shit. I went off, grab my fare ride and went to another jeepney. But have I been in a worst case scenario?! Now, the radio will kill you with love songs. I tried to ignore it and exclaimed on my mind "Somebody... save me!"

While on Greenhills, a horde of love teams from all sides of the mall were on me.
I'd felt the worst, for the life of me. Yes indeed.

I went to McDonald's since I left home skipping lunch. While on the line, I read the menu. A week ago, I was craving for the double cheeseburger meal. But the one meal that called my attention was the happy meal. Since I'm in pursuit of happiness, I would gladly want one. I roamed around and seek some kids ordered a happy meal. Yes they were happy due to the star wars toy but they're kids. Kids love toys. And I doubt if my loneliness will lowered down due to a toy or the meal itself.

Cashier: Sir! Good evening! May I take your orders, Sir?
Me: Yes, Good evening! Is the happy meal would make me feel happy? I badly need one. (then gave her the serious but polite look)
Cashier: Sir, I'm sorry. It's not a contentment meal, Sir. And there's a note below on that meal that says: "No Therapeutic Claims"
Me: Hmm... Sounds delicious.

***

Cashier: Ehem! Sir? Sir? Yung order niyo po?
Me: Ha?! Ah.. isang double cheese burger meal. :) Go Large na! I mean.. Go Bigtime na. :) (Sabay kamot sa ulo) (Napangiti na lang ang kahera.)

While seated in the corner of a four chaired set, I can't help but to notice the difference between being alone and being with someone. Practically everyone inside have someone. Either a friend, a loved one, a father with his two kids, barkada, or an old lady with her cane. Ako? All I have was a book, a meal and two cellphones. I tried thinking that these things were here for me, pero iba pa rin yung may kasama ka talaga. Sharing the laugh, old new times, unsolved problems, the future or just random facts or fictions.

I got tired of thinking the could have beens and the should have beens. So I ate.

Afterwards, went to Krispy Kreme for a coffee and donut. The ambiance of the old McDonald's was getting heavier due to the rain and thunderstorms above my head and Mariah Carey hits!

A consolation prize from above? A free glazed donut from Krispy Kreme! :) It was a timing thing when they lighted up the sign at the window. :)
I read my book, sipping coffee and tried to get loose in Patricia Highsmith's "Ripley's Game".

Until Momma Dear texted and asked where in the world is chigo adona, thus I went home.

There's a whole new meaning of being lonely for me:

*The uselessness of a double cheeseburger when you're alone instead of sharing

*The cold soft drink that makes you thirsty and makes you feel warm.

*Fries that was too salty.

*An empty chair beside you.

*A donut too sweet yet can be shared to someone.

*Panis na laway na dapat sana ay nagagamit sa pakikipag usap.

*Twenty peso bill good for two en route to one mall.

*A hair cut which needs a criticism.

*Timezone Powercard good for an hour and a half fun in a videoke machine.

*Having both hands which were made also to hold someone's hands.

Pick your choice.

Disclaimer: No. No. No. I never held it against her. It was my choice to go alone and spent time alone with myself. It's just that, you can't help but to be disappointed in a little way. I thought going off alone and pushed the moment all by myself would be fun and exciting. A wrong move indeed.

Advisory: Never order a happy meal when you plan to eat alone. It'll just worsen your miserable situation. :)

Thought For That Day: You will start to appreciate the little things along your lonely escapade. A warm smile from the cashiers, the greetings of a security guard, a fair wind that dampens your face, children roaming around and doing some childish things, an empty chair, the taste of your burger, the replies of your friends to your GM's and many simple things. :)